Nostalgia
by lianghwei
Summary: And as I laid eyes on her, I saw another Hannah... with her auburn hair and bright green eyes, beaming with the aura of autumn magic, but it couldn't be her. For instead of eyes that search for dusk, her eyes wait for dawn...
1. Prologue

**Nostalgia**

**Prologue**

* * *

****

Authors Note: Hey, its Jade here. I know that I am currently working on Eternal Eclipse, but there is a part of me that just screams "Where's Remus?" Remus Lupin is my favourite character, and I love writing fics about him. I had another, but that was really a bit of bad luck. tsk. So, I'm starting anew, and I hope that you guys will like it. If there is any way I can improve on the story, or on my writing technique, please review or email me. The email address is on my profile page.

Thank you so much!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any character belonging to the Harry Potter series, which is property of J.K. Rowling. **

* * *

_And as I laid eyes on her, I saw another Hannah... with her auburn hair and bright green eyes, beaming with the aura of autumn magic._

_But It wasn't her... it couldn't be her. My Hannah is gone, long gone,perhaps flown with the fading rainbow, ordrowned in the deep orange of sunset. I don't know where she was, but I knewthat that was not her. Formy Hannah was mine alone, and no one elses, but this'Hannah' seemed to belong to thewhole world. And instead of eyesthat search for dusk, her eyes wait for dawn..._

* * *

"Remus… why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Remus ignored the auburn haired girl, and turned away from her. He continued pulling small pieces of bark off a thick, large-trunked tree.

"Remus, will you stop stripping the tree and talk to me?"

Remus, with much force, pulled off a large piece of bark and threw it on the ground angrily. His yellow eyes had a glint of insane rage and sadness in it, and it scared the auburn-haired girl.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, his voice stern and fierce. The girl was frightened, but she tried her best to hide it, and spoke with a clear, forceful voice.

"Why do you look so terrible? You've been looking pale and sickly for the past few days! And why are you avoiding me…" her tears began to swell up, as she lost the forcefulness in her voice.

"Why…"she choked. "…have you changed?"

Remus felt the sadness in her voice, and each tear that rolled down her cheek pierce his heart like acid. Looking up at her, he saw such emotion in her eyes, which stung him. He had made her cry…

That one phrase echoed in his mind.

Trying very hard, he kept back his own tears, and brought the little girl into his arms. Her skinny frame felt small, and he was a head taller than her, although he was only one year older. He thought back at what had happened, and what the options were. The girl continued sobbing in his arms, and he rested his chin on her soft, red hair.

Remus knew, though, that he could not tell her exactly what it was that had happened, and what he was. Why he grew more pale and sickly as the full moon came, and weak right after it leaves. He did not want to be so close to her, because of what he had become, but he knew now that it is the one thing he regrets the most. For their time together grows less and less by the second…

"Hannah…"he whispered to himself, and stroked her red hair.

"Mm...Hm…?" she said softly, hardly audible. He took a deep breath, and opened his mouth, to tell her the terrible truth.

"I'm… going to boarding school… soon."

"What!" she yelled. At once she broke out of his arms, and glared at him with a look of fury. "How… why…"

"Next week, actually. My family will be moving to London on the 30th, and then I'll be going to go to Boarding school soon after…"

"But… but…" she stuttered, the tears flowing anew. Remus, not knowing what to do, reached out, and attempted to pull her into a hug. But with a burst of anger, she yelled at him, pulling away from him.

"How could you do this to me!" she yelled. Her whole body shook with emotion.

"I'm sorry!" he cried. "I'm sorry!"

"Don't… don't you like me anymore?"

"I do! It's…I'm sorry…"

"Don't I mean anything to you..." she trailed off. Before, she stepped back and leaned on the bare trunk of the tree, her head spinning heavily as she cried. Remus stepped forward slowly, his tears now daring enough to show themselves, his hands trembling as they longed to wrapped themselves around her tiny, fragile frame and hold her throughout the week. But they were afraid to touch her, lest she run away from her, and break away from him.

He was so scared, so afraid that she would hate him…

"Don't… don't hate me Hannah…" he cried through sobbing eyes. And as she stared up at him, and saw the sun set behind him, with his tears shining against the warm glow of the sunset skies and his pale, sunken skin, and his beautiful yellow eyes, with sadness at every window - she found out that she knew exactly how to answer.

She reached up as high as she could, and grasped onto her neck, and said, "I could never do that, Remmy…"

He felt his own tears flow at the sound of the words, as well as her tears soak into his thin cotton shirt.

"Remmy… I rather like that name," he said, and felt his heart soar at the sound of her laughter, as he recited the familiar lines. "But why am I so special?"

"Because, Remmy," she recited softly, whispering into his ear as the sky grew darker. "You have eyes like the setting sun, but instead, they never fade away."

They sat together against their tree, watching the sun as it set. The occasion was a sad one, but nonetheless, they still had each other. And as Hannah lay against Remus, hearing each inhale and exhale that he took, she asked a simple question.

"And… what about me, Remmy? Why am I special?"

Remus smiled, and leaned his head on hers.

"Because, dear Hannah, if I ever fade away, you will be there…"

And as he stared down at the small, ten-year-old girl, he had a realization that he was never going to forget her, because as young as they were, they were never going to love anyone else more.

"…and I shall be yours, so I can see whatever you see, and be wherever you'll be…"


	2. Who is she?

I just stood there, stupid me. I should have run away, or pinched myself, or something. But no, I stood there, my mouth wide open in amazement and in shock. My Hannah, my sweet Hannah – in Hogwarts!

It couldn't be, though they looked so much alike. The same oval face, sharp nose with the splatter on freckles, ears that stuck out a little slightly, lips naturally pale-pink and unnaturally thin, and her eyes were green… startling green… She looked too much like Hannah.

And at that moment, she turned and looked at me.

I didn't know what she was waiting for. I could hardly hear anyone around me, the noise had died down and settled somewhere else. She stared at me with a puzzled look, and remained as I was, afraid, uncertain.

And finally, she walked away quickly, leaving me there in the once-again buzzing courtyard.

_Was she even there in the first place?_

* * *

****

**Chapter 1 **

**Who is she?**

"Hey Moony, you ok?" Sirius asked. "You're starting to look like your porridge."

Remus looked up, to see his three friends staring down at him. Looking down, he watched as his spoon stirred the pale, white, and sad looking porridge.

"Really, Sirius, do you have to be so annoyingly accurate with your comparisons?"

Sirius grinned.

"It's a gift," he announced proudly. "Now tell me - what is wrong with you? Its ages away from the next _you know what_."

"Its not that," Remus sighed. "Its just… I didn't get much sleep last night."

"And why is that?" James asked. Peter peered in curiously.

"Just… bad memories…" Remus groaned, and scooped a large spoon of porridge into his mouth. His friends took this as a command to change the subject.

"So… James…" Sirius said coyly. "I heard that young Lily Evans has your eye…" James kept quiet, shoving buns into his mouth.

"Lily Evans?" Remus asked. "Who's that?"

"A third-year girl, Gryffindor." Peter squeaked. "Apparently very pretty."

"Yeah, and li'l Jamsie here has got himself a little crush…"

"SHHH!" James hushed. "Here she comes!"

Sirius gave a laugh, and Peter giggled, while trying to pretend to look away. Remus, laughing at the blushing James, turns to look.

And there she was, walking down the Gryffindor Table, red hair, green eyes, a splatter of freckles on her nose…

"Hannah…" Remus subconsciously whispered as she walked past.

_How could she have come so close to me? Is she possible real?_

"Moony…"

Remus looked up, and before seeing who was calling him, a book came down on his head.

"OW!" Remus yelped. "What was that for!"

Suddenly, a hand reached out, grabbed him by the collar and pulled him to the table so fast his face almost made contact with his porridge. Remus looked up and saw James' face.

"Oy," he whispered, slightly aggravated. "Why are you making googly eyes at my girl!"

"I wasn't… I mean… I didn't… I mean… I got to go…"

With that, Remus grabbed his bag and got up, half-running toward the door, leaving his confused friends behind.

"Bloody Hell," Sirius said. "What's gotten in him?" James fumed, confused yet angry. Peter just shrugged.

And well, Lily wasn't sure what to think.

* * *

"_Remmy!" _

_Remus turned to see a little bouncing red-head, hands cupped together, running towards him at full speed. _

"_Hannah!"_

"_Remmy! I picked you some flowers!" _

_Watching the little girl excitedly dashing across to him, with a fistful of flowers, he could only smile. _

Remus sighed, resting his head in his Ancient Runes Textbook. He was in the Hogwarts Library, and Madame Krotchety, the librarian, was eyeing him carefully.

Remus hardly had any energy to do his homework anymore. His mind was hardly concentrating, as it flounced around memories and doubts,

"Erm… Excuse me?"

Remus looked up tiresomely, and to his shock, saw someone he least expected to talk to him.

Hannah. Or… Lily.

_"I picked them just this morning!" Hannah cried, her child's voice tinkling in unison with the rushing stream water._

_Suddenly, she tripped – on something, and her face contorted in shock, her cupped hands loosened as flower petals flew out. Remus panicked. _

_"Hannah!" _

"Yeah, erm. I need to talk to you about something." she said shyly, her freckled cheeks turning pink.

Remus didn't know what to do.

_Remus didn't know what to do. After a split second, he finally ran towards where Hannah had fallen, hoping to catch her before she hurt herself._

"I'm sorry," Remus said. "I'm slightly busy… I - I need to go."

And gathering up all his belongings and stuffing most of it into his bag, he exited the library, leaving the red-head behind, face flushed red, hands tightly grasping her Astronomy textbook. Madame Krotchety marched away.

_And, as Remus tried to tend to Hannah, neither of them noticed as the wildflower petals that had taken all morning to pluck were slowly flowing away in the clear-water stream…_


End file.
